Thursday, August 11, 2005

Birthday Present for Jar Jar

The only bad thing about Tatooine is that I don't have a present--or any creds to buy one with--for the Mabbitt's comic relief, Jar Jar. But that's completely alright, because as soon as he gets home, there will be one waiting for him.

My cousin Lola has been working as an...entertainer for quite some time now. You know--she sings and dances and looks pretty at parties and other events, as most twi'leks do. She's really very good at it.

So Jar Jar, when you get home, you'll find her waiting there to give you some belated birthday company. Besides, you need a lady. And now, without further adieu, my lovely cousin Lola...

(You'll need to scroll down.)

You're in for a real treat, Jar Jar.

Really, it was the least I could do.

She's been wanting to meet you ever since she saw us on the premiere of Survivor: Tattooine.

Keep going. Lola's waiting.

Almost there!!

Voila! The beautiful Lola!

Happy Birthday, Jar Jar! :)


Blogger JawaJuice said...

Ooooo! Jazz Hands!!!

5:13 PM  
Blogger Leia said...

Palps has been spending too much time in his speedo... er, no offense.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

is palpdrag queen your cousin?
poor Jar Jar!...
perhaps some alcohol could help him find something pretty in her sith appeareance

9:06 PM  
Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,

'Thought & Humor'

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

'Thought & Humor' by Howdy
Great Humor
Great Thought
CyberHumor, CyberThought
CyberRiddles for your divertissement!!!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Darth Maul said...

Argh! My eyes!!!

10:07 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl... lalalalalalala...lalalalalalala...

*goes back to licking sand toads*

10:59 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

jar jar is SOOOOO lucky.

12:50 AM  
Blogger owenlars said...

I forgot what the post was about after all the "thought and humor" stuff. Oh, yeah, Jar Jar's gay, huh? And into Sith?

2:09 AM  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Er... whatsa issen mesa supposen to sayen?

4:52 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Looks like the Rancor spat that one back out.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Looks like Lola's been around a while.

... And around and around and around....

10:40 AM  
Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

"jar jar is soooo lucky!"???? NO WAY!

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok thought and humor we get the idea sheesh

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay,lets be direct.She's ugly!

12:39 PM  

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