Saturday, August 20, 2005

A Visit From the Master of Magic

Not too long ago, Master Yoda had hired a magician to entertain to younglings, seeing as they had been behaving well recently and hadn't been following Obi-Wan's examples. Naturally, I had to see what sort of show this magician would put on, so I slipped into the room to watch.

When I saw a costumed man squatting nearby while sifting through a colorful bag, I was undoubtingly surprised.

"Fluke?"

He looked a little bit disoriented, and he set aside whatever it was he was digging through. He seemed to regain his composure, so he stood up and addressed me, "I don't know who you're talking about, miss. I am Flukizmo! Master of Magic!"










He didn't look like a Master of Magic to me. More like spandex gone wrong. "Sure you are...you came to see the show, too?"

"Nah! I came to perform."

"..I thought it was going to be a magic show...not a sad comedy routine."

He folded his arms across his chest and pouted. "Now wait just a darned tootin' minute! You haven't even seen my show!"

"I doubt I'll need to see it to know whether or not you're a good magician.."

He held up a hand to silence me. "Just watch!" He then spun around to march up to the front of the room, but paused in mid-turn to glance back in my direction. "...Please?"

He didn't have to ask; I wouldn't have missed this for a box full of Uncle Quigs's brownies. "I'm watching," I replied.

A grin stretched across his cheeks, and he stumbled up to the front of the room, where a few items of magic were placed, to face his audience--which at that point in time was a large group of younglings, Yoda, and myself. The crowd would soon multiply.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Fluke greeted as he made eye contact with a few younglings, "prepare to be dazzled, amazed, and stepped upon, as Flukizmo! Master of Magic prepares to dazzle, amaze, and step on you!"

A murmur of "Oohs" and "Aahs" buzzed throughout the crowd. This could be interesting.

"For my first trick," he began, "I will be locked inside that box," he pointed to the rather large crate that sat next to him, "by my guest assistant, Jo Jo."

Suddenly, a strange-looking creature jumped out from behind the crate and waved to the audience. "Howdee!"

"Please note how the box has no way of escape," Fluke said as he approached the crate to bang on each of the sides. He then picked the crate up, and the bottom fell off. "Eh..you can ignore that," he continued, placing the crate carefully back down upon the bottom that had fallen off. "Now...watch, and be amazed as Flukizmo! Master of Magic escapes from the Box of No Possible Way to Escape!" He opened the lid of the box and stepped inside to sit down. We all watched carefully as Jo Jo, The Monkey Boy closed the lid atop the box and locked a series of several latches.

Some shuffling could be heard inside the box, as well as an "ouch!" or two. Before long, Fluke let out a frustrated yell, and stood, which lifted the box up off of its bottom again. He threw the top half of the box at the wall and opened his mouth to say something vulgar, but then realized he still had an audience. He smiled, and held his arms out professionally. "Ta-dah!!!"

Jo Jo broke the silence of the room by clapping, "Nice goin', boss! That was great!"

"You suck!" a youngling shouted.

"Thank you, thank you," Fluke replied with a bow. "My next trick will require the assistance of an audience member...Master Yoda! Would you be so kind as to come to the front?"

Yoda grunted, and he rose from his comfortable position in the back to hobble up to the front. "Use your monkey for this trick, why don't you?"

"He's allergic."

"Allergic to what?"

"The trick, of course," Fluke said with a grin. He pointed to an X that had previously been taped onto the carpet. "Stand there, if you will."

The small green Jedi stood upon the piece of tape. "Dropping an anvil on me, you'd better not be."

Fluke chuckled. "Rest assured, Master Yoda, I'm not doing anything like that. I'm going to make you taller."

"Need to be taller, I do not...but for the sake of the younglings, I accept."

Fluke spun around a few times, waved his arms, and did a lot of "magic" stuff that I can't explain. He finished his little chant by shouting, "Flukizmo!" and throwing his hands in Master Yoda's direction.

A burst of giggles erupted from the audience.










"You doofus! Swollen, I look!"

Fluke scratched his head. "Hm...That shouldn't have happened." He snapped his fingers, and suddenly, Master Yoda changed again. "Do you feel any taller now?"










"Look any taller, do I?"

"Nope." Fluke snapped his fingers again. "How about now?"











"..."

"I'll take that as a no." Snap. "How about now?"










"Not funny, this is!"

Snap. "Now?"










"STOP! Do, this will! Come closer, would you? Not very good, my aim is."

So as you can see, it was a very eventful show. Poor Fluke...he didn't manage to be as successful as he had hoped with magic. He did, however, put on a very entertaining comedy. I hope he'll come back to do it again, even if it does risk putting blaster holes in his robes.

33 Comments:

Blogger jedisiri said...

wow i love Flukizmo!

10:02 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Man, how does Jo Jo get around so much? I thought he was only around me, bugging me, getting under my feet, poking me, saying "howya doin' boss?" to me, sneezing into my socks, drinking from the carton, eating all of my Honeycomb, throwing bananas around in my ship, bugging me....

10:05 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Wow, Flukizmo has gone a long way from when I first met him. No longer is he working at seedy Vegas bars anymore.
sniff....I'm so proud of you Flukizmo!


...and Jon, a little known fact about sidekicks...they can bend time and space to their liking, instantly appearing anywhere in the universe.
The bad thing is, they are constantly asking for directions.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Leia said...

Fluke has a monkey? That is one mean gun.

6:44 PM  
Blogger flu said...

Hey, I escaped the unescapable box like I said I would. I made Yoda appear much taller,(via machine gun) like I said I would, and I stepped on at least three younglings in the process!

If it weren't for that crummy sidekick of Jon's holding me back, I'd be doing something really great! Like living without food or water in a small, clear box for 40 days while suspended over a river.

Nah, on second thought, that would be really, really dumb.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

poor Fluke! but why didn't they get a real magician?!
As a magician Fluke is a good Jedi

9:25 PM  
Blogger marissa said...

(lol) but that sound so cute ^__________^

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Blogger marissa said...

I meant of yoda.

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