Thursday, June 30, 2005

Redecoration Update 3

At last, redecoration is finished! It looks quite nice, actually.

Oh, that reminds me...Qui-Gon gave me this lovely coffee plant for decoration...and I guess to grow my own coffee. Nifty.


















...and since everything's all finished, everyone is welcome to come on over for the slumber party tonight.

I didn't think the guys would be so opposed to sleeping in the bathroom. I mean, it's clean and all...It even has one of those Glade Plug-In things(vanilla cappuccino scented ^-^).
Since your objections were so convincing, I guess you don't have to sleep in the bathroom...

...You can stay awake with everyone else! :D

See you tonight!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Redecoration Update 2/Slumber Party!

Alright, so the remodeling is coming along quite nicely. I'm almost finished!

Here's what I plan on adding:



...A fish Master Windu gave to me. (Are you sure it's a fish?)









I found this little guy in the slums of Coruscant, and I couldn't just leave it there. It's supposed to eat bugs and stuff, so it should be quite useful. I named it Fluffy.







Obi-Wan gave me this exotic-looking beer bottle. I'm still not sure what to do with it. I think I'll let it run around the refridgerator.










That's pretty much it.

And about that slumber party...since I'll pretty much be done with redecorating by then, it'll be tomorrow.

...And since it is coed, when time comes to sleep, the males will slumber in the bathroom. Hope you don't mind. :)

Here's a list of what you might want to bring:
1. Sleeping bag
2. Toothbrush (I'm not lending you mine if you forget it)
3. Your own toilet paper (that stuff goes fast. I don't plan on running out overnight)
4. Cold ones (Obi-Wan won't be very happy without any)
5. Chick flicks (The Notebook is always a good choice.)
6. Food. Lots and lots of food. (No cheetos, however. I don't want orange stains on my new carpet)
7. Anything else you can think of!

See you then!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Redecoration Update

The remodeling is coming along quite nicely. Thank you to all of you who donated a piece of furniture or offered your expertise.

Here's what it looks like so far:




















Lovely, isn't it? The aquarium adds a nice effect (thanks, Kit Fisto!).

I think I may get rid of that Sith Lord statue on the left. I got it in the mail from one of those spam things that bribe you to try and lure you to the Dark Side...You know..those boxes that say "Free Gift!". I figured I had to do something with it, so I temporarily put it there. Maybe I'll give it to Count Dooku for his birthday or something...do people his age have birthdays?

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've decided that as soon as I'm finished with the whole remodeling thing, I'm going to throw a slumber party. Everyone is invited!

I'll let you all know when I've added the finishing touches, such as that grand arch Fluke was talking about.

Until then! :)

Monday, June 27, 2005

Redecorating

I was right about my room; the janitorial staff took care of it. Now it's nice and clean again. They even refilled my closet with all the missing clothes! Wasn't that sweet of them? The only thing is that they left the moldy underwear where it was. I don't blame them. I wouldn't touch that thing with a ten-foot-long pole lifted by the force. I really hope its owner comes and collects it soon, otherwise I won't be very happy.

The other slight mistake that the janitorial staff made is that they took all of the furniture, not to mention my coffee pot. I can't live like this.


Anakin offered me his spidey couch--








and Padme offered me her barbie canopy--










..But neither of them suit the room.

I'm pretty sure Ebay will have something I can use. Anyone want to make a donation towards my room redecoration?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Photo Album

Seeing as they were scattered all over my floor, I decided to start with reorganizing the photo album...so I gathered all the pictures and headed to Padmé's place. Just thought I'd share a few:




Jar Jar last Halloween, when he thought it would be funny to dress up as a Sith Lord.









Senator Amidala and her good friend Elmo. Anakin's not the only man in her life.









...That one time Anakin fell into carbonite.















...Yoda when he was just a youngling. I'm not quite sure how I got this..









...When Obi-Wan decided to take up opera.






Fluke giving Yoda a piggy back ride.



I'll worry about the rest of my room later. I'm sure the janitorial staff will take care of it.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Why Me?

After the party at a travelling pawn shop midget's place, we arrived back home--though I had some worries about the trip back. Yoda wasn't very sober...and neither was Fluke.

..But we managed to make it back in one piece. I went straight to my room to clean off my lightsaber and to sleep. When I arrived, I noticed something wasn't quite right. Maybe it was the wookie fur on my bed...or it could have been the half-empty beer cans and cheetos on the couch. Or maybe it was the way all of the clothes in my closet were missing(we need to have a serious chat, Master Windu)...not to mention the moldy underwear on the floor. I'd rather not know where it came from.

All the pictures from my photo album were scattered across the floor, and I'm pretty sure that every one of my DVD's with Sandra Bullock appearing in it were gone. A Jar Jar shaped faceprint was embedded into my wall...and a crumpled up twister mat with pink fluffy things eating brownie crumbs on it was nearby. The whole place looked like a bantha parade had run wild.

I think I'll just move in with Padm
é. Temporarily.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Hutt Free

After much waiting and watching the entertainment of Jabba's dancing servants due to Starbucker's use of the sporks...or was it the spores? Well, whatever he called it, I am finally hutt free--it took forever. I spent a lot of time using the force to bend Jabba's chains into unique shapes to pass the time. The last one I did looked exactly like Master Yoda...I would have kept it, but Jabba's fat rolled over it.

He seemes to enjoy sitting on my prized possesions.

Anyways, after Fluke gave a sappy speech, I was allowed free. Thank the force. I nearly fell asleep.(Don't tell him I said that...he might get all drama queenish.)

So now all we have to do is fly back to Coruscant. I certainly hope I didn't miss much.

...And I certainly hope Master Windu hasn't invaded my wardrobe again.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Situation on Tatooine

I've decided I dislike hutts. With a strong passion. Not that I don't enjoy sitting next to a giant hunk of fat...but...I really dislike them.

This place smells an awful lot like Obi-Wan's lodgings--like something died and then things started growing on it.
It's horrible. They don't even have coffee here.

I'm not sure of what happened to my lightsaber...but I do think I saw it protruding from beneath Jabba's bum. Gross. I'm definately getting a new one...that is, after I use it for escape purposes. I just need to figure out how to get that hutt to get off of it.

Fortunately for me, some "Founder of the New Jedi Order" wannabe came for a visit. He quite a nice job, actually, distracting Jabba for me while I picked the lock on the my neck cuff. I'm still unsure of why he made me wear it. What do I look like? A wookie?(no offense, wooklings)

Now I just need to get that lightsaber. I would try to pull it from beneath him, but I'm afraid it would break in half. Maybe I could try using the force to lift him. Then again, I'd rather not strain my mind that much. I'd probably have a seizure. I think I'll just wait until he makes his "stand of the day"--which is when he stands up to stretch.

I haven't been here very long, but I'm sick of this place already.

You would be too if you had to stare at that all day.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Ransom Notice

Dear Jedi and other pathetic lifeforms,

I regret to inform you that Aayla will no longer be available to post here...that is, unless the ransom requirements at the end of this letter are met.

You see, a distant relative of hers owed me quite a large sum of credits. Unfortuantely, that relative is no longer living, and seeing as the loan was quite generous, I am determined to recieve that payment somehow. So, as your blue friend was sleeping, I had some of my servants...retrieve her. Of course, I had them take her weapons first. Wouldn't want an armed Jedi running loose around my courts, now would I?

Why her? Well, she was the only relative of his that I knew the wherabouts of. Lovely thing she is, too. Don't know why I didn't discover her earlier.

If you wish to see your friend alive again, I suggest you meet my demands:

  • Do three cartwheels
  • Follow up with the chicken dance
  • Oh yes...and...100,000,000,000 credits will do just fine. I accept cash, as well as personal checks.
If you fail to complete this task by...say...Monday, Aayla will be having an interesting go-about with the rancor monster living beneath my throne room.

I apologize for any inconviniences this may cause. Have a nice day.

Oh yeah, and don't try any rescue attempts or anything like that.

Sincerely,
Jabba the Hutt

Friday, June 17, 2005

A Note to Master Windu

Please stop leaving your toupes on the floor. Younglings tend to slip on them, and when Obi-Wan has had a few beers, he tends to eat them. Not a pretty picture, trying to get a wig out of his throat.

I also found one in my closet. What it's doing there is beyond me. I certainly hope you haven't been stealing from my wardrobe again...and if you have, do not hand or machine wash them. Read the tag. Dry clean only!

Oh, and if you're going to wear wigs, at least glue them on correctly. Super glue works far better than scotch tape, despite what the label says.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Wookies, Twister, and Coffee

Last night, Master Yoda had a slumber party. It was a chaotic disaster. He invited nothing but wookies. I didn't mind so much at first. They're good friends, and they wanted to have a bit of fun. It wasn't until Master Yoda brought out his Twister mat that I began to get just the tiniest bit peeved. They didn't have enough room in his chambers, so they moved the game into the den.

I do not like being interrupted during "I Love Lucy", so when the TV was blocked by a large wookie's rear, I was not a happy camper. I tried to ask them to move to another room, but they were so loud, nobody could hear me. One of them kept saying something about "hrbrrrrraar" (which, by the way, is completely and totally ridiculous. I did no such thing.) while he was trying not to fall over. (Right hand green, left hand blue, right foot blue, left foot green looked like a rather difficult position to hold.) It wasn't long before there was a wookie domino effect. One of them fell over, and then the rest of them were quick to follow. I was about to leave when Chewbacca invited me to play.

I told him, "I need to find another TV to finish watching I Love Lucy on."

"Hbrrrrwr!"

Never say no to a wookie. I was halfway out the door when the walking carpet picked me up, carried me back, and forced me to play. Master Yoda was so lucky he only had to spin the spinner.
"On yellow, your nose you must put."

I could tell this wasn't going to be very fun. It wasn't long before every limb of my body, along with a few other parts, was touching a colored dot. It wasn't very comfortable. It was then that my neighboring wookie's paw slipped on a hairball(which they had been coughing up all game long. Disgusting). I would have stopped it, but using the force is strictly against the rules when playing Twister. Finally, the wookie tumbled over, which in turn, caused the rest of them to fall. Unfortunately for me, I was the last to be knocked over--meaning, I was crushed beneath five wookies. I knew that was going to hurt in the morning.

I managed to escape and head back to my chambers--with great pain, mind you. That night I had nightmares of wookies and characters from "I Love Lucy" chasing me around a giant Twister mat.

When I awoke, I headed straight for the coffee pot to wake myself up, and ease the pains from the wookies. There wasn't any coffee in the pot. There were, however, wookie hairballs in its place. There weren't any coffee beans left in storage either. Just more hairballs.

I can only take so much.

I could live if I missed an episode of "I Love Lucy". I could even cope with bruised ligaments from Twister....but drinking the rest of the coffee?!? This means war.

Master Yoda, I hope you don't mind if I have a couple dozen ewoks spend the night. ;)

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Not a Cookie

I've recently been told that my "action figure" appears to be standing on a cookie. Just thought I'd distinguish...

Here is a cookie:


Another Cookie:


A decorative cookie:

A small wookie named Cookie:


A basket of cookies:


Girl Scout cookie:


Computer cookie:


Seasonal cookie:


And finally...


_______________________________________

I found an interesting flash film.

Grocery Store Wars

I had no idea such events occured in the aisles of the grocery store!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

An Interesting Spoon

I was pouring myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning when one of these fell out:



I was quite confused by it, so I consulted Master Yoda, who said it was probably a probe of the Dark Side. You never can tell these days.

"Shaped like a spoon, it is. Cut off your tongue, it will, when activated it is. Deceiving, the many ways of the Dark Side are." He advised me to destroy it, which I really didn't want to do. It was just a spoon.

Just to be sure, though, I pressed the little button on the end of it. Sure enough, it lit up a bright red color, and when I put it in my cereal bowl, it cut right through the bottom. If the spoon-shaped hole in my bowl isn't enough proof, I don't know what is.

That spoon was a lot of trouble, even after I threw it away. Obi-Wan was digging through the trash to find his favorite pair of "tidey wideys", which *someone* threw away after tiring of the skid marks all over them. Unfortunately, he found it. Blasted little thing, that spoon.

Well anyways, he decided to use it as a beer keg opener, which wasn't such a bad idea at first...that is, until his hand slipped and sliced clean through the keg. Now there's beer all over the floor just outside Kenobi's room. It's all sticky now, so when you step in it, it takes a lot of effort just to pull your foot up. He calls it "floor film". Gross.

To make a long story short, I managed to get the spoon back after persuading Obi-Wan that I'd leave the "floor film" alone. Why he enjoys watching Yoda try to wade through it, I'll never know. What became of the spoon? I took my lightsaber to it and then sent it as a gift to a cousin of mine on Ryloth. He likes to collect that sort of junk.

I never got to finish eating my Frosted Flakes. :(

Monday, June 13, 2005

Action Figure

I was looking for a new starfighter just this morning at WalMart(good place to go when you're on a low budget), seeing as some Padawan decided to take my old one for a joyride. I found quite a few cans of Coca Cola in the drivers seat, as well as stains whose origin I'd rather not know.

So anyway, as I was browsing, I came across this:




It looks remarkably like a Twi'lek, don't you think?
I looked on the back of the box, and apparently, it's supposed to be me as an "Action Figure", whatever that's supposed to be.

Honestly...it does resemble a Twi'lek, but that is definitely not a lightsaber she's holding...and are those streamers coming out of her hand? And what about that strange-looking notch on her shoulder? How appalling.

I'm going to see about e-mailing a complaint to the maker this "action figure". If I'm lucky, maybe they'll recall all of the little wannabes.