Thursday, August 25, 2005

Sith Awareness Week: Darth Hidious

This guy actually has a very interesting story that brought him about.

Today's Sith Lord:




















Darth Hidious;

Also known as Mace Windu's evil twin. Or clone. Whichever you prefer.

----

Quite some years ago, back when Master Windu had hair, he was pressured with the oh-so-many burdens of being upon the council(not to mention sitting there, looking constipated all the time. That's got to be difficult.). He had those "being in touch with the feminine side" classes that he instructed, as well as the duty sitting in his council chair, looking important. Sometimes, his duty required him to do both. Unfortunately, he couldn't just tear himself in half like the gingerbread man and be in two places at once.

Secretly, Master Windu left the Jedi temple for an "extended vacation" to head to Kamino, where he payed a handsome price of pocket lint for a clone to be created of himself. Of course, he had to have his hair shaved off, in order for the cloning process to work. He doubted this, however, for the Kamino inhabitant put the hair in his pocket, rather than in the machine.

It didn't take long for Master Windu's new twin to arise. However, the man wasn't quite what Mace was hoping for. He was exactly the opposite of what he wanted--he was rude, and he somehow managed to get ahold of a red lightsaber.

We all know what this means. Everyone knows how Master Yoda feels about the color red...he hated it. So Windu took his clone out to the farthest planet in the outer rim he could find, dumped him off, and left.

It wasn't long before rumors began speculating about a hidious-looking man, successfully taking over the planet of Hoth...not that there was much there to begin with, but taking over a planet can prove to be quite difficult.

When the council began to suspect something, Mace journeyed out to Hoth to confront himself. There, the two clashed lightsabers until Master Windu managed to sever his clone's head from its body...or perhaps the opposite could have happened. You never know.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Sith Awareness Week: Darth Mrow

What started as an admiration for a higher Sith Lord morphed into a disasterous turn events that led this innocent creature to the Dark Side.












Darth Mrow.

Formerly a Jedi, this little fellow was the underdog, or dare I say, undercat, of his peers. Frequently looked down upon because he wasn't as talented of a Jedi feline as Master Puss, he began to make his name known in the temple in the only way he possibly could--puns, pranks, and the like.

It was around this time that Darth Maul, and his Master, Darth Sidious appeared. Mrow had an admiration for the two Sith, especially Darth Maul. He envied the creative pattern of the Sith's face, so he tatooed a similar pattern onto his own face. Of course, none of the other Jedi thought very highly of his new look. Enraged, Mrow took to making nightly raids of the temple, in which he would carefully paint interesting patterns upon the sleeping Jedi's faces. Perhaps, he had thought, this will help them appreciate the beauty of this art.

Master Yoda certainly didn't appreciate it.

Mrow was devistated, angry, and most of all, lonely. Most at the temple avoided him. Feeling out of place, Mrow left the Jedi Temple without warning one day, in hopes to find his hero; Darth Maul. He had no luck, for by the time Mrow had tracked him down, Maul was already dead.

It was at this point that Mrow accepted an invitation from Darth Sidious to form an apprenticeship. It didn't last long, however, for almost as soon as Darth Mrow had been turned, he was picked up by Plabba the hutt and named "Fuzzy" whilst on an errand for his Master. Nobody had ever heard from Mrow ever since.

Perhaps he didn't pose much of a threat. Perhaps he did. Perhaps Plabba had some sort of plan to train the feline to take down thousands of Jedi. Or Perhaps he was just lonely and wanted a pet.

Only time will tell. Keep an eye out for Darth Mrow.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sith Awareness Week: Darth Gollum

Today's study:





















Darth Gollum.

Quite the frisky little guy. Not only is he bald, old, and ugly, but he is rumored to have a most dangerous apprentice. Indeed, his is a name to be feared.

His apprentice and soft-sided alter ego is the more childish, carefree version of Darth Gollum; Darth Smeagol. However, the dark side comes in many forms. Smeagol held the brains and the prankster side of the duo, whilst Darth Gollum kept to looking ugly and telling his apprentice how worthless he was. The two were like brothers...brothers who shared a body. No wonder they had issues...

Well, back in the day when these two ran free, reaking havock on everything they came into grasp of, everyone was warned to keep their barbie dolls, action figures, One Rings To Rule Them All(TM), and loin cloths locked safely and tightly behind some sort of barricade. All these items, if not hidden carefully, would mysteriously disappear throughout the course of the night. Following clue to clue, people came to the conclusion that the villian behind the theft was none other than the "village idiot", Gollum. This was shortly before he and his apprentice were seduced to the dark side.

Smeagol, the softie of the two, was tired of getting thrown around and spat upon, so when he saw an advertisement to come to the Dark Side, he couldn't resist. If the Dark Side could make him look like that, then he was in. This was when Gollum, the steroid-junky of the duo, was born.

Unfortunately for that silly Sith Lord, no such thing occured. He never learned how to tap dance, much less look good in a cape. His alter ego, Gollum took over, claiming to be the Sith Lord to rule all Sith Lords, and he forced Smeagol to become his apprentice on pain of dark side super force wedgies--a painful punishment.

Though they at first seemed like an unstoppable team, their partnership began to break when Gollum tried to steal Smeagol's prize Barbie doll. Things just weren't the same after that.

Eventually, both were slain by the hand of a brave Jedi, who pushed the Sith duo into the firey depths of Mustofar.

Not a single Barbie doll, action figure, One Ring to Rule Them All!(TM), or loin cloth went missing after that.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Sith Awareness Week: Darth Wayne

Though few of you might know it, today is Monday, August 22, 2005, the first official day of Sith Lord Awareness week. I, having studied up on Sith in the archives, have the obligation of informing and making the public aware as to what sort of threats are floating around in our universe. Therefore, each day of this week, I will be informing you of the many Sith Lords that try and fail at taking over the Galaxy.

Today, I'll brief you on:













Darth Wayne.

Some know him as Bruce Wayne. Some know him as Batman. Others call him just plain Brucey. Don't be fooled by his heroic appearance or cunning name, however. He's a deadly one.

I came across his name while I was flipping through the Jedi archives. Interesting stuff, I had thought, so I decided to study up on him.

Though he was hailed as a hero to some system called "Gotham", few knew of his true nature. This guy was a cruel and viscious Sith Lord. The Dark Side clung to him like a booger on the wall--it wasn't going anywhere. He often would sit in his chambers with his apprentice, Darth Robin, plotting ways to rule the galaxy. Again, they're going for the hero-in-spandex look. Another one of the Dark Side's evil tricks.

I remember when I was but a youngling, and the older padawans would tell stories as fat as a bantha's rump to try and scare the younger ones into believing that Darth Wayne and his apprentice would come and mercilessly slaughter us. That, of course, would be why so many young padawans had a bed-wetting problem at the time.

None of us really believed the stories. How could a man dressed like a foreign mammal possibly be able to wield a lightsaber? Much less, move around so freely in such a restricting costume known to give unbearable wedgies to the wearer without notice? It was just fun for a good scare.

One night, however, our fears were tested. Mine were, at least. I was tucked safely into my bed with My Little Pony(TM) and my stuffed coffee bean, ready for a full night's rest. It was then that I heard something at my window. Being the stupid, curious, cute little Twi'lek that I was, I got up, leaving behind my stuffed treasures, to see what the origins of the sound were. I had a small suspicion it was the neighboring Jedi, who enjoyed rubbing his bare bum against my window on the occasion just to get on my nerves. I was ready to brand that bum.

Fortunately, and unfortunately, it wasn't him. There was a much larger duff facing my window, but it was covered in a black material of some sort. A very thin black material, at that. You could see every fat line through that thing.

I was frightened to see this larger-than-me backside, so I ducked down next to the window to see what was going on. All I can remember was spotting the malicious face of him....then I ran away as fast as my little feet could carry me.

I never found out what he was doing there, and I probably never will. I just know I wouldn't look forward to ever seeing Darth Wayne ever again...

Saturday, August 20, 2005

A Visit From the Master of Magic

Not too long ago, Master Yoda had hired a magician to entertain to younglings, seeing as they had been behaving well recently and hadn't been following Obi-Wan's examples. Naturally, I had to see what sort of show this magician would put on, so I slipped into the room to watch.

When I saw a costumed man squatting nearby while sifting through a colorful bag, I was undoubtingly surprised.

"Fluke?"

He looked a little bit disoriented, and he set aside whatever it was he was digging through. He seemed to regain his composure, so he stood up and addressed me, "I don't know who you're talking about, miss. I am Flukizmo! Master of Magic!"










He didn't look like a Master of Magic to me. More like spandex gone wrong. "Sure you are...you came to see the show, too?"

"Nah! I came to perform."

"..I thought it was going to be a magic show...not a sad comedy routine."

He folded his arms across his chest and pouted. "Now wait just a darned tootin' minute! You haven't even seen my show!"

"I doubt I'll need to see it to know whether or not you're a good magician.."

He held up a hand to silence me. "Just watch!" He then spun around to march up to the front of the room, but paused in mid-turn to glance back in my direction. "...Please?"

He didn't have to ask; I wouldn't have missed this for a box full of Uncle Quigs's brownies. "I'm watching," I replied.

A grin stretched across his cheeks, and he stumbled up to the front of the room, where a few items of magic were placed, to face his audience--which at that point in time was a large group of younglings, Yoda, and myself. The crowd would soon multiply.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Fluke greeted as he made eye contact with a few younglings, "prepare to be dazzled, amazed, and stepped upon, as Flukizmo! Master of Magic prepares to dazzle, amaze, and step on you!"

A murmur of "Oohs" and "Aahs" buzzed throughout the crowd. This could be interesting.

"For my first trick," he began, "I will be locked inside that box," he pointed to the rather large crate that sat next to him, "by my guest assistant, Jo Jo."

Suddenly, a strange-looking creature jumped out from behind the crate and waved to the audience. "Howdee!"

"Please note how the box has no way of escape," Fluke said as he approached the crate to bang on each of the sides. He then picked the crate up, and the bottom fell off. "Eh..you can ignore that," he continued, placing the crate carefully back down upon the bottom that had fallen off. "Now...watch, and be amazed as Flukizmo! Master of Magic escapes from the Box of No Possible Way to Escape!" He opened the lid of the box and stepped inside to sit down. We all watched carefully as Jo Jo, The Monkey Boy closed the lid atop the box and locked a series of several latches.

Some shuffling could be heard inside the box, as well as an "ouch!" or two. Before long, Fluke let out a frustrated yell, and stood, which lifted the box up off of its bottom again. He threw the top half of the box at the wall and opened his mouth to say something vulgar, but then realized he still had an audience. He smiled, and held his arms out professionally. "Ta-dah!!!"

Jo Jo broke the silence of the room by clapping, "Nice goin', boss! That was great!"

"You suck!" a youngling shouted.

"Thank you, thank you," Fluke replied with a bow. "My next trick will require the assistance of an audience member...Master Yoda! Would you be so kind as to come to the front?"

Yoda grunted, and he rose from his comfortable position in the back to hobble up to the front. "Use your monkey for this trick, why don't you?"

"He's allergic."

"Allergic to what?"

"The trick, of course," Fluke said with a grin. He pointed to an X that had previously been taped onto the carpet. "Stand there, if you will."

The small green Jedi stood upon the piece of tape. "Dropping an anvil on me, you'd better not be."

Fluke chuckled. "Rest assured, Master Yoda, I'm not doing anything like that. I'm going to make you taller."

"Need to be taller, I do not...but for the sake of the younglings, I accept."

Fluke spun around a few times, waved his arms, and did a lot of "magic" stuff that I can't explain. He finished his little chant by shouting, "Flukizmo!" and throwing his hands in Master Yoda's direction.

A burst of giggles erupted from the audience.










"You doofus! Swollen, I look!"

Fluke scratched his head. "Hm...That shouldn't have happened." He snapped his fingers, and suddenly, Master Yoda changed again. "Do you feel any taller now?"










"Look any taller, do I?"

"Nope." Fluke snapped his fingers again. "How about now?"











"..."

"I'll take that as a no." Snap. "How about now?"










"Not funny, this is!"

Snap. "Now?"










"STOP! Do, this will! Come closer, would you? Not very good, my aim is."

So as you can see, it was a very eventful show. Poor Fluke...he didn't manage to be as successful as he had hoped with magic. He did, however, put on a very entertaining comedy. I hope he'll come back to do it again, even if it does risk putting blaster holes in his robes.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Padawan Memoirs: Trouble in the Temple (Part Three)

[We follow the rapidly-moving speeder of Darth Lemur, in which the Sith Lord and the Jedi Master Puss duke it out with lightsabers, whilst the driver tries not to run into anything...]

PUSS: Give up! The dark side is bad for your fur!

DARTH LEMUR: ...[lightsaber clashing commences]

[Suddenly, the speeder jerks, sending PUSS into the air. The Jedi's lightsaber is throw from his...paw..and hurdled down into the endless cityscape below. PUSS, however, manages to catch the edge of the speeder, and he clings to it for dear life, all while yelling something in a foreign language at the driver of the speeder. Quickly, he regains his composure and climbs back onto the speeder, now weaponless.]

DARTH LEMUR: [He approaches his foe, lightsaber in a position to strike PUSS down.] ...

PUSS: [in a whisper] This calls for some drastic measures.. [Desperately, the cat glances back and forth to see if there was something that could aid him. Seeing nothing, he resolves to the only action that could possibly work in this situtation. The Jedi slowly removes his trademark hat...]












DARTH LEMUR: [lowering his lightsaber] Awww....

PUSS: [Using this temporary distraction to his advantage, PUSS uses the force to pry DARTH LEMUR's lightsaber from his hands, despite the fact of it being a tad bit large for him.] Ha ha!

DARTH LEMUR: [It would seem he is defeated, but seeing as he is of the Dark Side, he does have to make a cheap attempt to come back. Being the lemur that he is, he bounds up into the air in a very lemur-like manner, and he flies right into our Jedi friend, landing a swift lemur-kick right in the nose. PUSS, not having a firm grip on the larger-than-him lightsaber, drops it as well. Now, both of the combatants are lightsaberless. DARTH LEMUR quickly follows this move up with a force-push, knocking PUSS completely off the speeder..]

PUSS: [He tumbles down, down, down, and he soon disapppears into the mesh of flying vehicles, never to be heard from again. An evil cackle echoes throughout the traffic of Coruscant, and at this sound, the Jedi now knoe he fate of their dear friend.]

---

Master Puss...he was a very skilled Jedi, and nobody really knows what happened to him. All we know is that by through his effort, Darth Lemur had disappeared yet again. We haven't heard from either ever since that eventful day.

May Master Puss continue to rest in peace..

As for Darth Lemur...well, whenever he makes his next appearance, he'll rest in pieces.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Padawan Memoirs: Trouble in the Temple (Part Two)

Darth Lemur. He had attacked only twice before, each time brutal, but a long time had passed in between each attack. The first time was in person. The second time, by way of thermal detonators

And this time...mice! Each attack gets progressively worse!

Master Yoda knew the little vermin weren't going to get rid of themselves, so he called all of the Jedi in the temple forth to take care of them, led by our best Jedi...












Master Puss just also happens to be the best-suited for the job.

---

[A few Jedi can be seen traveling down the vast corridor of the temple, looking for the last of the mice. One of said Jedi is a young-looking blue twi'lek, another being a young padawan with a man who looks to be his master, and a small cat..]

AAYLA: Mice like coffee, right?

OBI-WAN: [waving his cheeto bag back and forth] What about cheetos? Or beer? Or WWE Smackdown!? Wait...we're looking for mice? I hate mice! [he skeptically glances back and forth]

AAYLA: [gives OBI-WAN a strange look]

OBI-WAN: I-I uh...I hate them because they..um..because Master Yoda hates them. Yeah, that's it!

PUSS: Silence! [ears twitch in the direction of the wall.] Do you not hear that sound? [he crouches down low and sneaks towards a small hole in the wall..]

QUI-GON: Um..that's like, not possible for Obi-Wan, man. His ears are all waxy.


PUSS: [in a whisper] Cheetos! [He extends his paw towards Obi-Wan, who reluctantly hands him a single cheeto] Get your lightsabers ready..[He sets the cheeto down a few inches in front of the hole and dives to hide behind a conviniently-placed plant, followed by the other three Jedi.]

[Some shuffling can be heard just inside the hole, and soon, a small furry creature emerges from the hole. It looks at the cheeto, sniffs it, and turns back around to face the hole. It squeaks, and a few more furry creatures run out to join their friend.]

PUSS: [still whispering] Now! [he jumps out from behind the decorative plant and in front of the hole from whence the mice had come.] Pray for mercy from Puss in boots! [hushed voice] ..and friends..

[PUSS, AAYLA, and QUI-GON have now formed a circle around the mice. OBI-WAN appears to have climbed to the top of the decorative plant, letting out an occasional quiet, whimpering noise.]

MOUSE # 1: (censored)

[In no time at all, the three Jedi have roasted the last of the mice with their lightsabers..]

OBI-WAN: [climbing down from the plant] Well, that was easy.

QUI-GON: Too easy, man.

PUSS: Behind you!

[Our Jedi heroes(and heroine) turn around to lay eyes upon their worst nightmare--Darth Lemur]

DARTH LEMUR: ...[he remains silent as he activates his lightsaber..]

QUI-GON: Padawan dudes, go find little man! [he and PUSS both take battle-ready stances]

[AAYLA and OBI-WAN take off in the opposite direction to locate Master Yoda, while the fight commences between the Jedi team and the Sith Lord. They exchange blows for awhile, neither side managing to strike the other. It is only after the quick-on-his-feet PUSS attempts an aerial assault that he manages to deliver a lightsaber gash into his foe's arm. Somewhat crippled, the Sith Lord cries out in pain and backs away from the two Jedi. It is then that the creature makes a mad dash for the window, leaping through the glass and into a speeder that apparently, had been waiting for him.]

PUSS: No! [he races after the lemur, taking a similar leap into the Sith Lord's speeder just as it takes off...]

QUI-GON: ..Go on without me, man! I haven't had enough brownies to even attempt to attempt an attempt at a jump like that..

[At this time, the two padawans return with a small green Jedi Master]

YODA: Miss something, did I?

---

Will Puss be successful in bringing the evil Darth Lemur to his knees on his own? Tune in next time...

To be continued...

Friday, August 12, 2005

Padawan Memoirs: Trouble in the Temple(Part 1)

Several years ago, the Jedi Academy encountered a small problem. Many small problems, actually. Small problems that pooed everywhere; mice.

Master Yoda proposed that they must have been sent to the temple by a Sith Lord of some sort, because Windu had the entire area sprayed for rodents countless times. There's no way an ordinary rodent could get past all the mouse traps and the hazardous spray. These were dark times for the Jedi. Not only would the little vermin leave their happy pellets all over the council chairs and whatnot, they'd chew on pretty much everything. Socks, lightsabers, interior decoration plants, toothbrushes, coffee mugs, refridgerators, underwear...all of a jedi's daily neccesities.

Something had to be done about the issue, so Master Yoda had the padawans each try and catch a mouse so they council could question it. "See me with rabies, want to, you would not. Know where they have been, I do not. Touch them, the council refuses. Besides, immune to mice diseases, padawans are."

If you ask me, I'd have said he was afraid of mice.

Anyways, catching the mice became sort of a game for the padawans...and it was far harder than we'd imagined it to be. Those things are like Waldo in those Where's Waldo? books. They blend in with everything. I was one of the few who actually managed to coax one into my hands by my own method of offering it cheese and coffee. How could it possibly resist?

When I brought the mouse to the council, Master Yoda was standing behind his chair, peering around it at the rodent I had brought. "In the cage over there, put it please." He pointed to a cage that was sitting in the far corner of the room. He didn't come out from behind his chair until the creature was locked securely in the cage. "Now, interrogate it, we will," he declared as he gave the mouse a glare.

---

YODA: Now, sent by whom, were you?

MOUSE: [Blank stare} Squeak.

YODA: Lies! See through you, I can.

MOUSE: [licks itself]


YODA: Such an obscene gesture, tolerated, it will not be! Sent by whom, were you? [His lightsaber is drawn]

MOUSE: [It scurries about its cage, taken aback by the lightsaber. Finally, it stands up upon its hind legs and sticks its nose into the air.] Squeak.

[A murmer of gasps cascades about the room]

YODA: [He clutches his forehead] Forsee this, I did not. Meditate on how to deal with this, I will.

---

Nobody was expecting that. Me, especially. The return of the ancient Sith Lord, Darth Lemur? It seemed almost impossible.

That night I went to sleep in my mouse infested room on my mouse-chewed bed, tormented not by the rodents that nibbled at my toes, but by thoughts of Darth Lemur's return.
















To be continued...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Birthday Present for Jar Jar

The only bad thing about Tatooine is that I don't have a present--or any creds to buy one with--for the Mabbitt's comic relief, Jar Jar. But that's completely alright, because as soon as he gets home, there will be one waiting for him.

My cousin Lola has been working as an...entertainer for quite some time now. You know--she sings and dances and looks pretty at parties and other events, as most twi'leks do. She's really very good at it.

So Jar Jar, when you get home, you'll find her waiting there to give you some belated birthday company. Besides, you need a lady. And now, without further adieu, my lovely cousin Lola...


(You'll need to scroll down.)













You're in for a real treat, Jar Jar.












Really, it was the least I could do.













She's been wanting to meet you ever since she saw us on the premiere of Survivor: Tattooine.













Keep going. Lola's waiting.













Almost there!!















Voila! The beautiful Lola!





























Happy Birthday, Jar Jar! :)

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A Movie To Watch

Pirates of the Federation has always been a favorite of mine. Not only does it have a spectacular plot, but Orlando Hamill and Johnny Ford make a spectacular team. Also, they're quite the eye candy.

The story takes us into the life of young Luke Turner, a lovesick moisture farmer whose father, unbeknownst to him, is the deceased Pirate Lord, Darth Vader. The woman of Luke's fancying, Elizabeth Organa, is kidnapped when the captain of the Black Falcon, Barbooku, invades Port Eisley in search of a possesion that can free him and his clone crew of a horrible curse. The former captain of the Black Falcon, Han Sparrow, is a witty pirate who was thrown into carbonite by his crew, escaping narrowly by a chance of luck. The marrooned Sparrow made his way to Port Eisley, where he joined forces with young Turner to embark on an exciting journey to rescue both the lovely Elizabeth Organa, as well as Sparrow's love--the Black Falcon.

It's an excellent film, and I would definitely recommend it to those who have nothing better to do than to sit back, whip out the cheetos, and watch television.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Padawan Memories: Fortune Cookie Day

I haven't had a fortune cookie in a long time...the last time was back when I was a Padawan, on Fortune Cookie Day. That was back when Master Yoda decided to write fortunes and put them inside the cookies. He couldn't get any of the local restaurants to give them out, so he established a Fortune Cookie Day in the Jedi Temple.

Once a month, he'd leave a fortune cookie at each of our doors. They'd say things like, "Fear leads to the dark side", "Get new socks, you will", and "Slaughter many sand people, you should not." Useful stuff.

Mine, however, was sort of...different. When I cracked open that fortune cookie, the slip of paper inside was as follows:






A visit from a wookie? I doubted that would happen, considering that there were few wookies in the Coruscant area.

But the very next morning, as I was shopping for groceries with a few of our attack clones, I saw a wookie.














I stand corrected.

Shortly after that, I began to see wookies everywhere.


On a theatrical poster..


















It was a very good production,actually..

On a visit to a country called "USA" on the planet Earth to negotiate with their King...













I had no idea wookies were politicians.

While I was there, I had to use their currency..










I never saw any Twi'leks on their money.

On a board game...
















He ended up being guilty, too.


At Obi-Wan's grandfather's trailer park...












I see the family resemblance.


A historic painting...



















The Chewna Lisa

A wise old friend of Master Yoda's...


















Yoda had been trying to break him of the death sticks habit.

And finally...



















Caught them in a closet in the temple. Shame. I think the woman was a senator...

Strangely enough, Master Yoda discontinued Fortune Cookie Day after that. I guess he ran out of ideas...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Padawan Memories: The Social

I remember the first time someone slipped a bit of alcohol into my coffee as a Padawan. It was at a Jedi social to celebrate our success, seeing as many of us were about to begin the trials.

I'd thought it tasted strange at first, but the padawan sitting next to me, whose name was Obi-Wan Kenobi, told me he'd fixed up a "new flavor" for me. I had just met the fellow, and I didn't want to seem rude, so I drank the entire
pitcher, even though its taste wasn't very pleasant. Besides...he was kind of cute..

Before I knew it, the entire room was spinning, and I began to see little people were flying around in sneakers.

Like on those weird shoe commercials that come on television in between soap operas.

I recall many odd events occuring that night. One of said events was a bunch of stormtroopers showing up. Another was a few of the older Jedi bringing in their favorites pets and having them "duke-it-out" on the table.
















It was actually somewhat entertaining..that is, until one of the cats lost a tail, which went flying onto Master Windu's head(He was there to "oversee" the social..good thing Master Yoda was there to oversee the overseer of the social). Then it was really entertaining. He wore it as if it were a tiara for the duration of the evening.


That was a fun way to spend the night...though I woke up feeling more or less queasy. I had the feeling I was about to ruin the new paisly pink carpet Master Yoda had just gotten laid throughout the entire temple by way of stomach fluids. I had no regards as to where I was going, but I knew I had to find a bathroom. My eyes were on the floor the entire time, and when I began to see tile, I knew I was in a safe-zone. I practically nose-planted into the toilet.

After spending some time coughing up much of what I had eaten/drunken the previous night, I stumbled out of the stall. It was then I realized my fatal mistake.





















I hadn't thought to check which bathroom I had entered.

Needless to say, I did my best to shy away from alcohol after that.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Wanted: ....Anakin?

Tatooine is just full of surprises.


























There's no way Anakin could have slaughtered an entire tribe of sandpeople. Nope. Not little Ani.

Someone want to explain this to me?